woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
