i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
As shirtless as possible
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
