so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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