My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
