How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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