eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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