Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
