Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
high people should be assigned attendants
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
