Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize