So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
