He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize
