those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
