Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
