HIV tests are more positive than that guy
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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