drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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