That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
