Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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