Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
