yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
