chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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