its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
wow bdsm is so cute
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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