Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
