Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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