At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
