This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
