you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
