He kissed a someone with a penis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
