After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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