I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize