you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
