i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
