My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I didn't shave. On purpose
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize