I feel like abortions should bother me more
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
