Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it's like iHOP with fire
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
