their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Your penis caused this!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize