My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
