Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
