Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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