Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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