he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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