Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
