fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
