And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
