Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
