I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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