I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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