No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize