Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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