your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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