i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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