Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
