it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
