twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
