if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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