It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
