You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
