ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
