it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize