Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
