I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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