A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
