Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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