I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
