we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
