Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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