Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize